Scream Machine Recap- by Michelle Berg

Lately, the last thing I ever want to do is run. Yep. Me, this girl, has lost her mojo. So, what made me decide to take on the 25K Scream Machine course?

Lack of oxygen to my brain? I had a lobotomy? I’m a pod person? Peer pressure? The compulsive need to want to be part of the “first crew” to run. How about none of that, or maybe, all of it.

Today, 6:30AM, myself and 29 others hit the mean streets of Selden. Each mile I ran, I kept saying “ok, now I have 20K left, now I have 15K…I’ve run the meatgrinder course a few times so I knew what was ahead, at least for the first 12 miles, so I made sure to save my cursing, bitching and complaining for later on.

As typical, the 10k route feels like your favorite pair of jeans. Comfortable, secure, and today I felt great wearing them, but once I turned left onto Blue Point, I started to question my sanity.

Knowing there’s a turn off on BP, I have to make does not make me happy. Myself, Marcus, Oliveri and Campisi were embarking on the meatgrinder portion of the course and poor Joe was just shaking his head when he heard we turned right back onto blue point to head down to horse block road! At the end I saw the most beautiful man and dog! Oh, it was Gills and Kona and he has munchkins and m&ms. I had a honey stinger gel pack but a munchkin was much better, so I fueled up on that and we went on our way to horse block road. Oh, turn right on Lidge and what do ya know, a mother f&$;:ing BIG hill!!!

I started to pull behind a bit because my up hills are terrible and it was there Campisi gained speed and left us and we picked up Secor who was probably on mile 65! Back down blue point we were now taking on the course that’s part of Slaughterhouse. Oh, look, we pass Gills and Kona again. I wave, I keep moving. Oh son of a _____! I forgot i have to go back up that awful hill on Blue Point! Ok, I got this! As I was running and chatting w Oliveri we felt good, I pulled ahead by a small amount and got so exited to see mooney pond ahead of me I almost didn’t turn onto Laurel, Mike had to yell at me to turn! Ugh!!!!! When will this end??? Oh, the lion house, hello! Almost there. Blue point, here we come! But wait! I have to turn off AGAIN? 5K left!!? What a terrible mean cruel joke! But there I see 2 more beautiful people! Oh hi Beth and Robin with your supply of water and Gels! How wonderful. But ok, need to hustle. This has to eventually end. Oh and WTF, why is this hill there???? Why why why???? I lose Mike but I pick up my favorite smiling man Sallustro and somehow I lose Marcus. 12 miles with the Brit and somehow I lose him at mile 13. We are on bicycle path now, How far will I be running on this long road. Where the eff is that street that starts with an M? Poor rich is listening to me curse and complain and Oh shit, I have to run on Adirondack, again!!!!!!! Why? More hills, small, but why?? Marcus finds his way back to us. Thankfully they were downhill but why???? Though the worst part of this entire thing, as I pull ahead to finish and just hustle I turn into the parking lot and that’s when I hear Marcus and rich yelling at me to come back and go up to 25. What!!!! Why??? I’m done!!!! But nope, this stupid course doesn’t end the same way to the pole! You have to run around to where we exit onto 25 towards Adirondack. Finally, I see the end, I have Marcus and Rich at my side as we head into the lot to see everyone eating and laughing and cheering us on! This completes my Scream Machine!
Never again!

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